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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Chicago Election Results

Chicago Election Results: They call it F***.


I’ll admit, it kind of snuck up on me, but today’s the day that Chicago chooses its new mayor, and boy are they excited:

On the city’s North Side, voter turnout had been so slow in Warren Park that election judges cheered when two voters walked in. Only 71 voters, out of 600 in the 50th-Ward precinct, had voted as of 12:30 p.m.

Turnout was similarly slow for the other two precincts in Warren Park.

“It should be packed at lunch hour and it’s not,” said Kathy Holdren, one of six judges staring at seven empty voting booths. “It goes faster if we have more people.”

In the 38th precinct in Uptown, only about 100 people had voted by noon. But just after noon, seven people showed up at once, the biggest surge poll workers had seen all day.

Emanuel Fever! Catch it!

If elected, Emanuel would be the first Chicago mayor to take the phrase “swearing in” literally. He’s certainly not lacking for confidence:

Everyone’s talking runoff, but I know it’s a victory. My fingerstump disappeared this morning and now the rest of the hand is fucking going.

Time to head in to start watching results. I’m wearing a single glove over my invisible hand, motherfucking MJ style.

…And with good reason, apparently. Hopefully he’ll run Chicago with a little more grace, wisdom and competence than he displayed in the Obama White House. But I won’t hold my breath.

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